Although this article can be read alone it is PART THREE of three in a series.
The Abundance of Feeling series:
The Abundant Transformation — Are You Ready To Feel More? < You Are Here.
The Abundant Transformation — Are You Ready To Feel More?
Abundance, the Survival Instinct, & the Transformation of Your Passionate Focus.
In the last article we used our memory of the most abundant time in our life to focus on what it felt like to be in the feeling of flow. Today we are going to remember the time when you most financially struggled in order to become conscious of any wounding you are carrying in connection with the emotive topic of money. This is important because it is our personal experience of lack which makes our experience of abundance unique. This is because we are inherently abundant so — when embodied — the opposing experience of lack gives the charge of polarized meaning to what we personally come to define as abundance.
Just as we sought to experience the feeling of flow, allowance, and blossoming (as opposed to our memories of definition), I now want you to feel the sense of constriction, and perhaps darkness, that you felt when you most financially struggled. It is important here to recognize that what I am asking you to do is not the usual “remember the time in your life” thing because I don’t want you to just remember you were unhappy; I want you to remember what that unhappiness felt like. And, as we previously discussed, that can only be done by allowing yourself to feel it. This is therefore about evoking uncomfortable feelings like suffocation, weight on your shoulders, desperation, hopelessness, constriction, depression, anxiety, and darkness.
Because this is about “not having”, it is about the absence of something you want. This is a little unusual because our minds are trained to remember what happened rather than what didn’t happen, what we wanted rather than what we didn’t want, and what we possessed rather than what we didn’t have. To help evoke the feelings of that time, I want you to — if you wish to play along — hold your empty hands together to form a cup in front of you and feel how you have nothing in them. Next remember what it was you most wanted at that difficult time in your life. Do this so you can focus on it as the emptiness in your hands.
What was it you needed? Perhaps money to pay the rent, bills, or for food. Remember the constriction of not having, of being without, of feeling like you had nothing. Remember how your thoughts constantly circled your feeling of lack, asking, “How am I going to solve this? Where is the money going to come from? What can I do? Who can I ask? Will anyone help me?”
Did you feel embarrassed or ashamed?
Did you feel you had failed?
What did you believe led you to the situation?
Were you carrying any regrets or blame?
Just look at and feel the emptiness of having nothing in your hands. Feel the absence, the lack, and the pressure created by that feeling of lack. The feeling of looking for something and not being able to find it. Remember the feeling of powerlessness by feeling it.
Feel how you may have reacted to these articles back then — perhaps with anger. “My hands are empty and I am in need. Feeling emotions will not solve my problems. I need money — physical money. THAT is what I need. There is no way I will feel good until there is something physical in my hand. I know I have the power to feel — I don’t want that. I want the physical thing and then I’ll feel. Stop telling me I can just feel. I want the physical thing. In this world I need money to feel good.”
Feel the emptiness of the space in your hands as the emptiness you felt as a person at that time of struggle and difficulty. Remember the feeling of the things you tried to resolve the situation, but which failed to change it.
What I want you to most feel and remember through this exercise is how all your feelings collectively created this focus on the emptiness and lack — on what you did not have. Our fear-based negative feelings act to make us focus on the problem. This causes us to have less positive experiences to help balance out the negative flow of emotions that comes through a focus on lack.
This tendency to focus on what is seen as “most wrong” is something that comes from our survival instinct. This evolved through the “primal” conditions we see in the animal kingdom which we also see today in the instinct to completely focus on whatever is putting you in danger (as the most effective strategy to survive). This isn’t however the best strategy for dealing with financial problems in the modern world.
While it is useful to give regular attention to the conditions of your life — especially when they are causing you to struggle — giving them 100% of your time is highly destructive on an emotional level.
REFERENCE — The realization that worrying is not a useful strategy is explored in the Do Not Worry — It’s Self-Destructive and Solves Nothing article.
We each have this powerful survival instinct that comes from a very different time in our history and it should not be underestimated how it personally affects us today. Most people think of the survival instinct in relation to the fight-or-flight response (which clearly demonstrates its presence within us). When living in the wild, never taking your eyes off a predator until it is out-of-sight and you are safe makes complete sense. This would have been a trait that caused individuals to survive and therefore became common within the human race through natural selection.
What I would like you to see is that everything in your body telling you to focus on a predator is the same feeling and pull of focus as constantly thinking about a bill you can’t pay, an eviction notice, or your credit card statement. When looking at a demand for money, something inside of us screams that we must resolve this or it is going to kill us. Early humans did not live in their heads the way we do now; for them to constantly focus on something dangerous outside of them is now, in the modern world, the equivalent of mentally — and thereby perceptively — obsessing about something that is making you feel unsafe (such as your inability to pay your mortgage).
So, going back to the feeling of staring at your empty hands, I want you to realize how that emptiness — that nothingness — was a predator you found yourself unable to take your focus off. Not being able to pay your bills may not seem as emotionally traumatic as being chased by a lion, but the thing about a lion chasing you is it is over quickly (one way or the other). The thing about our modern predators — your bills and taxes — is that they never stop coming at you (even when you have collapsed on the ground). As such, our modern predators are far more relentless than any lion.
This is why to become a master of your feelings is also to become a master of your focus.
See how this relates to the spiritual analogy of sitting in front of the mirror and saying you will smile when your reflection smiles at you. In this scenario to have your survival instinct kick in is to obsessively focus on how your reflection is NOT SMILING. In this state all your thoughts are about the lack of smile because it is the one thing you believe you need to change in order for you to feel happy.
Someone in this kind of obsessive focus will never smile because their negative focus causes them to spiral away from the very thing they are waiting for. If you are always thinking about the lack of smile, then there is nothing for you to smile about. In such an instance, the person — in order to feel better — needs to distract themselves from their negative obsession through the allowance of a positive focus. This causes them to take focus off of the negative thing long enough for a smile to creep in.
If you obsessively look at the evidence that most shows your lack of money, then you cannot have mental room for positive thoughts.
When you are focused on NOT having money, you cannot have positive thoughts about having money. This is why at times of feeling lack it is best to just focus on any positive feeling — no matter what it is about. This then provides some balance to the negative focus. With this balance as a foundation, you can then begin to use your positive associations to remember what having a positive relationship with money is like (which we did in the last article).
This is all the continued unfolding of the realization that money is a feeling that reflects how you feel about yourself.
At times of financial lack, remember that any positive feeling is a feeling of abundance. So when focusing on a problem isn’t helping shift its negative feeling, give yourself a break — a mental vacation — from that problem. I am not talking about going into denial or brushing something under the carpet; I am talking about consciously choosing to give yourself a break from thinking about the problem for the rest of the day (or maybe a week) and instead choose to focus on something that will make you feel good.
As clear and obvious a strategy as this is, it is important to recognize how rarely we use it because of how powerfully our survival instinct has come to dominate our thought processes.
Let that settle and digest for a moment. Take a deep breath and clear out the immediate feelings from the past that may still be present within you from the exercise.
If you were able to bring back your past emotions in the present, don’t be surprised if this exercise continues to affect you for a day or two. I encourage you to allow this state of reflection, as through it, you will experience insight into your present experience of lack versus abundance. Some of this will be about seeing that you have evolved how you perceive and react to things, but some of it will be about seeing patterns from your past that are still exerting an influence today.
In closing, I would like to leave you with the idea that if you are asking for money or abundance, then you are asking to feel more. This is not something that people necessarily realize because, having accessed our feelings from our past struggles, the idea of being rich can seem like a liberation from all of those strong, negative emotions. This reflects how we tend to think of negative feelings when we think of powerful feelings (this is like one negative review feeling as powerful as many positive reviews in terms of its ability to affect us).
Consider the idea that emotions aren’t positive or negative — they are all just feelings. While it is true that the feeling of being stuck or imprisoned is an extreme of feeling, so too is allowing yourself to exist fully within the flow of life. The human experience is built on duality. This means that how bad something can feel reflects how good it can feel (and vice versa).
The reason this is important to understand is that when focusing on the feelings within your dream of abundance, I don’t want you to only picture ease, tranquility, and luxury, because they are only a small part of the reality of abundance. To be abundant to is to feel empowered and an empowered person naturally expresses themselves (as opposed to containing or hiding themselves).
The abundant life is as much about excitement and action — which can come with a level of drama — as it is about peace and freedom from financial struggle.
Although we may sometimes feel cursed by the dominance of our emotions, our sense of feeling is the number one thing that attracts us — as spirit — to the human experience. This is why our spirit’s dream is one of feeling rather than definition. Regardless of your personal, “human” reasons for wanting to be wealthy, your spirit never wants to become abundant so that it can feel less emotional.
The closing exercise I would like to leave you with is to look at your dream of abundance and evolve it to be as powerfully emotional as your times of struggle; not in terms of positive versus negative emotion, but in terms of magnitude of feeling. In this moment, your mind may well be telling you that you want abundance so you can have a rest from the struggle of life, but there is only so long you will want to rest. There is only so long you can sit on a beach. So of course you can dream of having a time of rest, calm, and peace where you recover and heal, but I also want you to dream of all the emotional excitement that will follow that time of rest.
Abundance is about flow and that means passion.
Life is about flow and that means passion.
To dream of abundance is to have a passionate dream.
When you dream of abundance, dream of being as passionate about what you are doing in your life as you felt passionate about changing your experience of lack at your time of greatest struggle.
Take a deep breath and allow yourself to realize the perspective from which…
Unless you are as passionate about the positive as you are about the negative, then your spirit will be more interested in the negative — because it loves to FEEL.
Human Question: Where is my money?
Spirit’s Answer: It is in your feeling.
Spirit’s Question: Are you ready to feel more?